Why is it that for years, the fashion of the day was for boys to wear their trousers, jeans or shorts as far down their bodies as they could, even if that meant that the waist band, and I repeat waist band, hangs down below their buttocks, pulled tighter with a belt, but not too tight because it is important to constantly pull them up an inch or two, for no reason other than to annoy their parents, who think the trousers are being hitched up… and then not. This was also accompanied with the ‘must-be-able-to-be-seen’ boxer shorts.

What’s more, the crotch of the trousers would end up at knee level, so that our new young male homo sapiens started to resemble the walk of penguins rather than of man. I am so pleased to say that those days have almost gone, to be replaced with who knows what!

I admit there are always fads in fashion and often fashion goes in cycles with the old fashions that I knew growing up, coming back to haunt me – such as the large patterned sun dresses, platform soles, hot pants (or short shorts) or an entirely new hippie generation. Although you have to admit, nothing beats the real ‘hippie generation’ that I grew up in.

I would like to share with you some teentrivia adapted from a book I read called – “Always go to bed on an Argument” by Deborah Ross and it resonated so much with me and my experience of teenagers that I thought some of you might relate to this. It proves that teenagers can be horrible, unless of course they want something from you, in which case the angel in them comes to visit – just for a short time, until they get what they want.

1. Twelve out of every ten teenagers say they will put their plate in the dishwasher later.
2. The number of teenagers for whom later means never – twelve out of every ten teenagers!
3. The number of teenagers who think that being asked to perform a household chore is just totally interrupting their life – twelve out of ten teenagers!
4. The number of towels on the floor of the bathroom or the floor of their bedroom equals exactly the number they can get away with before being told to pick them up.
5. The number of teenagers who say they will pick their towels up later – twelve out of every ten teenagers!
6. The number of years that teenage boys use Lynx (Africa) before realising that their mothers were right to ‘gag’ all these years – four years (age 13 – 17 years)

Some of the most common teenage sayings -

• I would have called but I ran out of credit. (Hey Mum, can you top my phone up!)
• Whateva!
• I hate you … or You’re so mean
• I have turned the sound down
• Mummy, I love you – LOVE YOU … can you pick me up, drop me off, lend me some money.
• Later – I will do it later, I promise
• I got a detention because my teacher hates me

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids who are now 18, 20 and 22, and then I have step kids who are 20, 23 and 26 (give or take a year or two)- we created our own Balmy Army!

What is most important to me, is that although parents have to endure the dramas, the look, the sigh, the moping and the grunting – this phase will pass … come back … pass…. come back … and hopefully pass forever.

I have three of the most wonderful kids you could ever ask for – kind, sensitive and caring. They all can give their Mum the most wonderful hugs, often without reason and always with feeling – and that just makes a Mum proud. They are our future, our future politicians, our future environmentalists, our future explorers and scientists. Never give up on your kids, love them unconditionally, guide them, support them and hopefully…..

.…one day they will have kids of their own!!

The post Teenagers! appeared first on Linda Guirey.

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to wear one at my brother’s wedding. The invitation read “Ladies, a hat please” and I had to re-read that statement a few times, wondering what year we were in. A hat? I don’t own a hat, nor do I have the money to invest in one just for my brother’s third wedding! So instead of the typical hat, I decided to look for a fascinator – one for myself, one for my mother, my Aunt and my daughter. That would make four fascinators in total.

There were quite a few ‘fascinators’ available – you could buy the more expensive variety – $30+ ones from boutiques, however we opted for the cheap shop option for about $7 which looked just as good. I decided to enhance my fascinator by adding coloured feathers (again from the cheap shop) – to create a colour co-ordinated ensemble with my outfit. Seeing the incredible result, my mother requested I do the same with hers, so some more feathers and hot glue later, another fascinating fascinator was created.

As the weekend approached, the weather deteriorated and predictably it became stormy on the day of the wedding – 22nd January. You see, I have had a life time of storms, accidents, disasters and illnesses on the 23rd January, which happens to be my birthday, and I strongly warned my brother that I didn’t think it was a good idea to plan a wedding for the day before. However, what do sisters know?

So there we were, the day of the wedding, gathered for a lunch at my brother’s property, prior to us all going to get dressed up for the big event. We were standing on the covered deck, sheltered from the driving wind and rain but with a drip, drip, drip of water dripping down through the poorly erected corrugated plastic roofing, onto my head – just to remind me that my weather prediction had been spot on. Before long, the rain started to fall heavier, the winds grew stronger, the puddles became mini-lakes and all did not look good for an outside wedding on my brother’s property. I had visions of us ladies, dressed up to the nines, with hats and fascinators galore – a colorful symphony of frills and feathers – everyone leaning horizontally against the driving wind and rain, umbrellas flipping inside out … with our ‘fascinators in flight’. Flying feathers of fancy, floating on the stormy wind.

Luckily for us though, my brother had a plan ‘B’. We were going to be spared the spectacle of colored feathers and hats swirling up into the sky, never to be seen again – although the photos of that would have been amazing!

Instead we headed for the local theatre, where initially just the reception was going to be held. However at the last minute, a decision was made to hold the ceremony in the theatre as well. All we had to manage once we were all dressed in our finery, was the initial dash to the car, hand firmly placed on fascinators and the dash from the car to the entrance, avoiding swirling puddles of mud, driving rain and the never ending wind that wanted to part fascinators from heads.

Every guest received, on arrival, a small bottle of bubble blowing mixture as an alternative to confetti, rice or petals – so there we all were, seated in the audience of the theatre, all dressed up with hats and fascinators, waiting for the ceremony to begin. The bubble blowing started early because there wasn’t much else to do and this created a spectacle of hundreds of bubbles floating in the audience, out, over and onto fascinators, feathers and fidgeting children. It became a competition to see who could create the biggest bubble that would float the highest and farthest onto the stage, which we were hoping could then be repeated just as the bride and groom were saying their vows on stage. But alas, the bubble blowing power of the audience never got a single bubble to reach the stage, however some beautiful large rainbow coloured bubbles managed to float back and forth in front of the audience from time to time, amidst a multitude of mini bubbles.

The vows were exchanged between the columns on the stage, well actually the columns never spoke, it was the bride and groom that exchanged their vows standing ‘between’ the columns on the stage and then the bridal party exited stage right. This was soon followed by the busy bubble blowing audience, out into the foyer. Whilst the many photos were being taken, the guests headed off to the reception room to take their places at the tables.

Copious amounts of wine, beer, some spirits and soft drinks flowed throughout the night. Trays of food kept circulating, in a vain effort to keep excess intoxication at bay. Fascinators eventually became brooches, frisbees and men’s toupees – all before the wedding party had even taken their places at the head table.

After the formalities were over, it was time to crank up the music and hit the dance floor – and for some this meant ‘literally’, because by this time many bottles of wine and beer had been consumed. ?
One of the young bridesmaids brought her ipod and connected it through the speakers, to provide the dance music for the evening, however if you consider the age group of the bridesmaid, the music was somewhat alien to anyone over 35! This didn’t stop the keen movers and shakers and there too were my mother and aunt (one close to 80, the other 83!) grooving and gyrating on the dance floor. The more wine that flowed, the more groovy the dance moves – I was so proud of them! However I am not so sure that my mother’s grandchildren were as proud. Teenagers really need a sense of humour when it comes to older generations and dance floors.

All in all it was an entertaining evening. The stormy weather could not stop the happy couple from enjoying their special day, and by all accounts and eye witnesses, the guests had a very enjoyable time also.

So although we were denied the anticipated spectacle of ‘fascinators in flight’, the whole event turned out to be just plain fascinating in itself.

Fascinating Linda!

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The programme documents a controversial experiment that involved 6 volunteers, who would experience 48 hours of total sensory deprivation. Three volunteers were placed in small individual rooms with a bed, table and complete and utter darkness. Three were in lit rooms, but wore goggles and for part of the time, padding around their arms to reduce sensation. They also wore headsets, that produced white noise, for the entire 48 hours.

Each person, prior to their confinement, underwent a series of tests on memory, recall and their ability to be influenced with prompts. The influence test had the examiner tell each volunteer a story and then prompt them with questions, such as “was Tom’s shirt black or white” when in actual fact it was red. Prior to their 48 hour confinement, the volunteer’s recall was such that they could confidently say “Tom’s shirt was red”.

Over the 48 hours of confinement and sensory deprivation, you watched these volunteers go through vast ranges of emotions and behaviour. From talking to themselves, their fear and pacing, all the way to their hallucinations. But they all lasted the distance.

What astounded me, was that after the 48 hours, their recall of a simple design was impaired, but most amazingly, when they were again read a story and prompted with misleading questions, the men were misled much easier and would have, for example, answered the question about Tom’s shirt, with “black” or “white”, whereas the women were still able to recall the events as they originally heard them.

What the scientists are saying, is that for the majority of men, and for some women – when in total isolation for some time, the brain actually starts to believe what is being said to them, rather than what they would have initially known to be true, and that is why some hostages and prisoners, will start to believe what their captors are telling them.

It also poses a question about leaving prisoners in isolation and solitary confinement for long periods of time.

This documentary interviewed a man who had spent 18 years in isolation for a crime he never committed. He now can’t gauge time, he can’t drive because it requires him to act upon various stimuli at the same time and he has been out of prison for some time now – so his brain function hasn’t returned at all.

So it begs the following questions:

1. How useful is solitary confinement, if you were going to use it as a means to extract information? How accurate would that information be?
2. Have we ever considered the long term effects of brain impairment, when used as a means of punishment?
3. Do hostages, who have experienced long term sensory deprivation, and who then demonstrate support for their captors, continue to have the same beliefs once they are released. Does the brain recover?

Take a look at the documentary on this website: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/alone/

It will leave you thinking….

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If I look at the actual game of marbles, it is amazing how many names there are for marbles.

Any marble larger than the majority may be termed a:
boulder, masher, popper, shooter, taw, crock, bumboozer, bowler, tonk, tronk, godfather, tom bowler, giant or biggie.

A marble smaller than the majority is a peawee or mini.

A grandfather is the largest marble, the size of a pool table ball or tennis ball.

You also have large marbles called Conqueror, emperor, grandaddy, grandpa, giant, godfather, jumbo, king, titanic, queenie.

Then you have marble names based on the color or coloring of the marble – for example –

• Toothpaste – wavy streaks usually with red, blue, black, white, orange
• Pearls – Opaque with single color with “mother of pearl” finish
• Onionskin – swirled and layered like an onion
• Cat’s Eye or catseye – central eye-shaped colored inserts or cores (injected inside the marble)
• Devil’s Eye – red with yellow eye
• Galaxy – lots of dots inserted like a sky of stars
• Spaghetti – marble with entwined lines
• Steelie – ball bearing used as marble

These are just a few. How many young kids do you know, that play marbles today. Have we lost this game, and the likes of knucklebones – to play station and Wii or X Box? Are we likely to ever get them back?

I would like to see a return to some of the hands on games that you can take into the playground, without having to be ‘plugged in’ or reliant on batteries.

I still have my marbles from when I was young. My kids played with them and added to them and we have kept all our marbles.

Can you say you still have all your marbles?

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It means you either prefer or ‘like’ Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) – the vampire or Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) –  the werewolf from the Twilight movie series.  http://www.twilightmovies.org/

From my observations, the majority of young girls stood firmly in the ‘Team Edward’ camp after the first movie “Twilight”.

Then came “New Moon”, when Jacob ‘buffed’ up, cut his hair and attracted more attention. So it seemed, the ‘Edward’ team were converted to Team Jacob.

Then “Eclipse” aired, and it now seems from young girls I talk to, that Jacob still has the votes.  “Breaking Dawn” is next to be released, and only time will tell how our younger female generation will vote.

What I find interesting, is how one camp or group of supporters, will openly denigrate the other. I have used this as an activity when talking to young girls at High School- to help them understand about relationships and to define their own relationships. I try and help them see that although a guy may seem ‘cute’ or ‘hot’, that if he tries to control you, tell you who you can see, what you can wear – then that guy either needs to be told to back off, or just leave him well alone.  I am not saying that either ‘Edward’ or ‘Jacob’ do this, but I highlight how quick we are to judge others, when they don’t share our opinion.

Too many times, young girls feel pressured to remain in abusive relationships with a guy, because their friends think that the guy is ‘hot’ or ‘cute’. The power of what your friends think, outweighs how you define your own relationship and how you should demand to be treated.  I find it sad that our young girls still feel like this in 2010.

I would like young girls to understand about a respectful and equal relationship and that it is ok to say ‘no’.  We need to do more in educating our young people about relationships in general, about respect, and about not tolerating any form of abuse.  I don’t believe we do enough, but if we put more emphasis in helping young people to learn not to tolerate abuse and to speak up, then we wouldn’t need so many ambulances at the bottom of the cliff.

The post The Twilight Years appeared first on Linda Guirey.

As a Career Development Practitioner in the past, I came across various CV’s that made me laugh.

Here are some of the ‘‘funnies’ that I encountered during that time:

1. On application form, next to ‘Emergency Contact  Number’ ……….111
2. “Consistently tanked as number one sales person”
3. The CV was printed on the current employer’s letterhead
4. Email address of candidate was “pornstarbabe@…….”
5. “Excellent pubic speaking skills”
6. “Skills – attention to detail, with high standard of proffessionalism”
7. “Hobbies – enjoy cooking Italians, Chinese and Japanese”
8. “Good at time management – I manage my time so that I don’t do anything I don’t want to”
9. “Unable to work Friday nights or weekends as this is drinking and party time with mates”
10. “Please do not call my previous manager for a reference as they will not give me a good one”
11. In the email application “Hi i am lookng 4 job in custmr srvce nd i wnt job plz in ur cmpny”
12. “Excellent writting skills”
13. “Achievements – came first in breed in 2007”
14. “Hobbies – breeding”

Let’s remember it is also about ‘what we communicate’ as well as ‘how‘.

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This same child, when asked as a young boy if he could put the kettle on, turned innocently to me and said “No, I am too fat”.

Children are blank canvases – ready and waiting for the colour to be applied, to create a unique and beautiful masterpiece.  The more love and warmth that goes into that creation, the more beautiful the result.

Their egos are just starting to be formed, because egos are formed by those around us.  If we lived our total lives in complete isolation, we would not have an ego.  I love the innocence and purity of children’s egos.  Egos are not always bad – we all have them and the best type of ego is the one that gives us confidence to stand up for what we believe is right.

We need to appreciate the innocence of our children. How else would my child, after seeing a programme on television about a woman  whose partner was also female, ask whether she was a ‘Lexicon’.

I have learned to laugh more because of my children.  Because they teach adults how to look at the world in a different way.

Try to remember to look at the world sometimes, through a child’s eyes.  The beauty, the wonder, the freshness of it all.  Our smallest marbles are our gems!

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